The Suicide Note of a Bad Man

You never listened to me.

I had told you
To tell these people - not to laugh
But you got concerned for those who were sad
And tried to lighten their hearts.

I told you
To stop the breeze
And to ask for winds laden with dust
So that people get blinded in the day.

But alas!
You rather asked the storms
To get calm
And quiet.

And I desired
That you talk to rivers
That they collude with clouds
To flood the cities and create havoc.

Oh again
You did not listen to me
You sent away the excess clouds
To drought struck places.

I wanted to take away innocence
I wanted to take away fragrance
I wanted to destroy relations
And I wanted to divide the earth.

And so many were my desires
Unfulfilled
I pity myself
You never stood by me.

Left with no choice O my Life!
This day
With all your goodness
I'm killing you.

The Owl on Banyan Tree

That night
A shriek broke the silence
The owl on the banyan tree
Could not help itself
But to keep its eyes shut
It got scared deep within.

They say so
Whatever the owl saw that night
It was scary
Very scary.

A man
Walked slowly to the tree
He took off his mask
Silently
Then he turned his head upwards
As if looking into the mirror called sky.

That was it
The owl on the banyan tree
Cried in shock and fear
And it never opened its eyes after that.

Destiny

Eyes turned dry as stones

Heart insatiated for ages
Dry lips
Such storms around
Tottering steps
Unknown directions
Strange faces
O Destiny! What harm did I do to anyone?
That you got me
To this turn in life!


March 04, 1993

Time

O Time ! Why do you oppose me so much ?

Joining hands with winds
You blow hard right on my face!
At each turn of life
You put me on a tough path
O Time ! Why do you oppose me so much ?


August 08, 1993

Loss

कुछ संग छोड़ गए

कुछ बने विरोधी
और कुछ बन अजनबी
चुप साध गए ।

क्या जाने कैसी भूल हुई
कि हम सब कुछ हार गए !

September 24, 1993

A Strange Preparation

दुनिया में

हर रोज
जब
मैं उठता हूँ
हर सुबह
तो
देखता हूँ कि
सारे के सारे लोग
लगे हैं
इस तैयारी मॆं
कि
शाम के
आते आते
इतना शोर पैदा किया जाये
कि
भर जाये
मनों का खालीपन
और
मिट जाएँ
सन्नाटे ।

पर अफ़सोस
न जाने क्यों
हर शाम
सूरज डूबने के साथ
सन्नाटे और गहरे हो जाते हैं
खालीपन और बढ जाता है ।

और फिर
जब मैं उठता हूँ
सुबह
तो
देखता हूँ कि
सारे के सारे लोग
लगे हैं
उसी तैयारी मॆं ।


November 23, 1993

Let Me Rest

सभी कहते

"चले चलो
जब तक चलें कदम "
पर अब नहीं मानता मन ।


क्यों न रूक जाऊँ
अभी
यहीं ।


नहीं करता
आगे चलने को अब मन ।

बहुत हुआ
करे बहुत झगड़े
भागे फिरे
यहाँ से वहाँ
ले कर मन में
जाने कितनी प्यास ।

अब बस तो बस ।
नजर भर कर देख लूं
अपने चारों ओर
जी भर कर लूं गहरी साँसे

और सुनूं उन साँसों की आवाजें
ठहर कर
यहीं
बस यहीं ।





April 02, 1994

Words

शब्द

घुल गए
हवा में
बन महक
सोंधी मिट्टी की जैसे
यहाँ से वहां तक ।

उस दिन
तुम्हारे दो शब्द
मुझसे
बहुत कुछ कह गए ।

बदलता मौसम और उम्मीद

आखिर बारिस आ ही गयी। पर खुल कर नहीं आई । फेट तूफान का धक्का ऐसा लगा कि कुछ छ्लक सी गई । कुछ बिखर सी गई । कहते हैं कि अभी उम्मीद है कि फिर बादल ज़ोर से घिरेंगे । और झम झम कर बरसेंगे । पर कब, यह कोई नहीं बताता । उम्मीद ही है बस ।

The wheel of time has been churning...

It's been quite some time since I last wrote on this blog. I wonder where the time went away...though, unlike earlier years, it was acceptable to be so busy! Deep within, there was an inexplicable peace in the midst of all the hustle-bustle and after late hours of work the midnight walks were filled with satisfaction. The longings of the heart have been silenced and the work is no more an attempt to achieve something. Work is a response to the situations present and the duties around. Oh time... the change maker!